Everything in this story is true, except the parts that aren't.


UPDATE: I edited it. A little.  And if you're looking for more of these guys, long story short they all wound up at Lakehurst. Poor bastards. The ExperimentSomehow, no one knew how, Hank had gotten a hold of a can of Gorilla Glue.
“Check this out,” Hank said. “Specs says it can lift 10 tons.”
“Bullshit,” said Ken.
“No, it really says that.”
“Yeah I believe it says that, but I say it’s bullshit.”
“Well how the hell are we gonna know? What do we even know of that weighs ten tons?”
They looked at each other, the way they did that made Waldorff excited, and a little uneasy.
“Salad,” bawled Hank. “Go get RJ. We need him.”
“What for?”
“You’ll see, just go get him.”
“But what should I tell him?” Waldorff was dubious. RJ didn’t come over for just any old thing.
“Tell him I said it’s important,” intoned Hank. Then he gave the hard eye, the one Waldorff had learned about in Rota last year, and Waldorff got while the gettin’ was good.
#
Fifteen minutes later they were out

I feel like this is really rough. Here is the thing, I need to brush it up. The framework can be changed. The characters and mannerisms can be changed. But the story Hank is telling cannot be as that is how it was told to me. And maybe none of it needs to be changed, just edited. I don't know. it's a very rough draft, unedited, because I love you all that much.

and before anyone says it, yes I know Waldorf salad only has one f and yes I know 'tortiya' is actually spelled 'tortilla' but let's be honest and ask ourselves if Hank has any idea, because the answer is no.

crit for tWR: comments.deviantart.com/1/5358…

So some questions:
- is the framework working or does there need to be more of it? (this piece is not standalone but needs to seem standalone. so can you guess where and when it is set?)
- is it clear who these people are, what their job is?
- clearly, Hank is telling a story so he does most of the speaking but are the speaking chunks he has too long?
- for anyone that read this: The Night Bill Leher Pissed Off The Guardia Civil this is a story from the same set. I am trying a different framework. Do we like this one, the direct sitting around shooting the shit framework, better or worse than dad telling his son about things in long hindsight?
- does the part with Curly even need to be in there? I put it in there for a sense of scene, but now I am not loving it. Thoughts please.