Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

:icondoughboycafe: More from doughboycafe

Featured in Collections

Prose by 91816119

Prose and Poetry by anapests-and-ink

More from DeviantArt


Submitted on
May 21, 2012
File Size
11.7 KB


25 (who?)

doughboycafe has limited the viewing of this artwork
to members of the DeviantArt community only.

You can log in or become a member for FREE!

Finally I came up with something. Dave and Simone on holiday in Madrid.

Not that the background is needed but it's sometime in 1926 or 1927, they normally are found in Paris. Dave is a soldier turned writer (terrible soldier, evidentally a good writer. I think he's better than I am.) Simone is half Spanish and otherwise a bombshell of awesome. Back in the 20s particularly in europe getting married meant giving your man control of all your stuff and your life decisions. Simone things that sucks. Dave doesn't really want any of that, he's just a hopeless romantic.

All of the places described really do exist. If you look hard enough, you may even find them.

mot juste is the modernist concept of 'one word is the best and most appropriate word' for a thing.

and of course, it's Dave, so you know he totally made a Casque of Amontillado joke.

Written (mostly) under a chestnut tree.

Crit for tWR: [link]

Crit Questions:
:bulletpurple: O please tell me there are no more typos. I think I got them all out but I'm having trouble proofreading today, so let me know if you see anything.
:bulletorange: Does the story flow well enough and give you enough to go on without knowing the info in the artist's comment?
:bulletblue: Anything that stands out as clunky or weird? It's a first draft so fire away.

Dave, Simone (c) Yo
selection of sherry drinks (c) La Venecia
chestnut trees (c) Madrid City Planning
Add a Comment:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012   General Artist
Congratulations on another well-deserved DLD, you lovely, lovely lady! :tighthug:
doughboycafe Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Professional Writer
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012   General Artist
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012   Writer
Congratulations on the DLD. What a surprise, eh?
I like this very much and think it has enough 'lit crit' already. I can't add a word except-> thank you.
doughboycafe Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Professional Writer
It was a bit of a surprise, chiefly because I'm not precisely happy with this. I would welcome more lit crit. I cleaned up the language in it a bit but really I feel like something is missing or that I need to expand or characterize them both a little more.

The trouble is I just finished a novel about these two so I'm not sure what there is to say about them that I didn't say there... I just don't feel like it stands alone without the novel backing it up :/
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012   Writer
I wonder if it's the novel you wrote about them that makes you feel this piece is somehow incomplete.

But I'll return with lit crit soon[ish].

By the way, you can hide the first two 'comments' I made about a feature I began today.

It's really featured here [link]

If you don't want to hide them, I understand. Lotsa' folks don't do that, and I don't mind looking a bit silly.
doughboycafe Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Professional Writer
Done and done! thanks so much :heart:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012   Writer
Add a Comment: