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August 13, 2012
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ok, a little short i pumped out for the :iconwriters-workshop: 'Unreliable Narrator' workshop. I think I was supposed to do a character sketch, but oops, all this spilled out. Pretty much came from listening to Emmy Lou Harris. If you haven't heard '1917', it is worth youtubing.

I have a very clear idea of Emilie and what's happening with her, but I'm interested to see what you think is happening with her.

Crit for tWR: fav.me/d577vic

So, Crit Questions:
:bulletpink: What do you think is the deal with Emilie?
:bulletpink: What did you feel happened at the end there?
:bulletpink: does this fit your description of an unreliable narrator, why or why not?
:bulletpink: grammar shiz: Anything off, clunky, or grammatically incorrect?

Big ups to :iconoboe-wan: for helping me slug through this one.

EDIT: June 2012, made some edits, retooled the beginning, or rather, rearranged things. Hopefully cleaned up the punctuation but I probably need a little more help with that.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-07-28
And Here Is John by doughboycafe is, in the suggester's words, "a useful reminder that wars aren't just all about men and trenches" on the 100th anniversary of the First World War. ( Suggested by VFreie and Featured by neurotype )
:icond-e-l-e-t-e-d:
d-e-l-e-t-e-d Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014  New member Hobbyist Writer
Fuck, that was lovely.
Reply
:icondoughboycafe:
doughboycafe Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2014  Professional Writer
Thank you, and also for the feature. I appreciate it a lot.
Reply
:icond-e-l-e-t-e-d:
d-e-l-e-t-e-d Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2014  New member Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! :glomp:
Reply
:iconguineveretogwen:
GuinevereToGwen Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014  Student Writer
Wonderful! I enjoyed this quite a bit. The character development is great. You did a fantastic job of telling us about the characters without making it seem obvious. It was all very subtle and simple. Also, I love your writing style. You have a way of incorporating beautiful imagery in such a natural way.
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:iconmeggie272:
Meggie272 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
oh, this is so lovely. I am always so happy to read a female perspective on war. I love Emilie, she is bright and sad and tired and you wrote her so well. The ending, the way it turns our concept of her and John as an established couple on its head, and the way it subtly unfolds the idea that she is compelled to love all these broken boys and listen to their horror stories, and that to her they are almost all the same man, so brilliantly accomplished. Augh. I'm glad I read this. 
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:icondoughboycafe:
doughboycafe Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2014  Professional Writer
Wow, you really nailed the whole thing on the head. I love it when people see right to the heart of this story, and also people that attach to Emilie. Thanks for the great feedback.
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:iconmeggie272:
Meggie272 Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Any time!
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:iconvertfey:
VertFey Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2014
This so deserved a daily deviation Congratulations.
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:icondoughboycafe:
doughboycafe Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2014  Professional Writer
Thanks :D
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